In 2023, there were over 1,500 parents in Minnesota alone who received a termination of parental rights or a transfer of custody for their children. In 2022, there were over 20,000 parents in the US who received a termination of parental rights. In one year. These numbers are astounding. Bellis is the only organization in the entire country, quite likely the world, that is attending to the grief of these parents. 

In her story, Justine shares how she spent years feeling undeserving and isolated after losing custody of her children. After finding Bellis in 2021, she finally found a sense of belonging and healing.

“The day of court, I went to the county courthouse of where my kids lived only to find out that the court hearing was in the county where my kids' grandma lived. I missed the hearing and therefore by default, she was granted custody.”

...she commiserated with the other participants about how she felt when the order for her termination of parental rights (TPR) came down. Sara said, “The State of Minnesota told me I wasn’t worthy of being a mother.”  Sara took this statement and applied it to every area of her life. She didn’t feel worthy of anything. Sara went on to describe how she didn’t sit in a chair for over a year because she didn’t feel worthy of the comfort a chair would bring her, so instead she stood, or sat on the floor.

Every year there are thousands of parents who have their parental rights legally terminated in the United States. And yet Bellis is the only organization in the country providing grief support for this ambiguous loss for people whose children are parented by others. Bellis receives daily emails, texts, and phone calls from people suffering from this ambiguous loss. To answer this need we have added two additional online drop-in support groups for mothers, and we are excited to announce our first ever online support group for fathers beginning October 1st.

Will you sponsor the 11th annual Stronger Together Weekend Retreat?

Invest in Bellis today

Bellis is piloting a special online cohort for mothers who are no longer parenting their children – this could be due to a termination of parental rights, a transfer of custody, an open child protection case, or other involuntary reasons.

Spring is magical

As I finish up my first 30 days as the new Executive Director at Bellis, I wanted to reach out and let you all know how things have been going. To say it has been a whirlwind is an understatement, but we are doing it!

It was a gut punch to hear. It always is. “Other kids are making fun of my son because they learned he’s adopted,” she said, her face wet with tears. In my 20 years of listening to thousands of adoption-related stories, this one always stings because it’s the story of my kids, too. And all the years of my advocating, program building, educating, and shouting from the rooftops haven’t changed it. But you can.

With a mix of joy and sadness, I’ve realized the time is right for a new leader to take the reins of 40-year-old Bellis as it faces a dynamic and important period of growth in serving the unique needs of women whose children are parented by others. I’ve made the decision to step down from this role by March 1 and support my board in its search for its new executive director. I’m immensely proud of the innovation and hard work invested in those years to ensure Bellis is ready for what’s next in 2024!

An outside observer joined me at this group a few months ago. She commented, "Why isn't every meeting in my life like that? They all listen and trust at an advanced level. It's so effective." I wholeheartedly agreed! Are these trust-building and meeting-productivity tips applicable to school boards, church councils, staff retreats, and more? Would they be great for family gatherings over the holidays? Yes.

If you (or someone you know) are a woman whose children are parented by others and has grief that needs attending, please consider the Bellis Stronger Together™ retreat program in Minnesota on Sept. 15-17. Now in its 10th year, these retreats provide a weekend of TLC and radical hospitality. They leave women feeling heard, which helps them feel stronger, supported, and lighter in their journey. The women find healing and comfort from peer support that comes with full acceptance and empathy. Learn more at mybellis.org.

Members of our Stronger Together grief-support group welcomed an MPR reporter and photographer into the sacred space of their conversation, which we host weekly at the Minnesota Correctional Facility-Shakopee. Why? Because their stories matter. And we are all better for hearing them. Thank you to Medica Foundation and the Sauer Family Foundation for standing behind this transformational, innovative work. Share it out to your networks. Let's amplify the voices of women whose stories are often unheard.

Photo by Kerem Yücel | MPR News

Bellis is 40-years strong, and on May 2 we celebrated our founding mothers, our community and the artists in our art exhibit, A Home for My Story.

A winter of research, training and planning has ended, and we’re ready to launch two new efforts this week. The timing is perfectly symbolic as new growth emerges from our cold gardens.

You’re invited to celebrate 40 years of Bellis with us on May 2, between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. We’ll recognize our founding mothers and our artists, enjoy refreshments and have a brief program. Made possible by our generous sponsors and supporters.